Originally Written: August 5, 2006, Day 5 in Treatment #2
We dove right into the discussion in Assertiveness and Anger Expression. The lead therapist stated communication is key. If you have thoughts, but you don’t share them – you make assumptions and that is detrimental to the relationships in your life. It sounds simple enough, right?
I remember having a lot of anger as a child. I acted out. Doesn’t everyone? I can’t seem get to my anger now. I feel like I don’t have the right to be angry. Anger feels really bad to me. When I feel angry, I feel guilty.
I take other people’s mood/emotions and actions personally all the time. I always ask people what’s wrong. However, I don’t want to ask people what’s wrong because it annoys them. However, if I don’t ask, I take their mood/emotions personally and harbor it within myself. Then I analyze what I could have possibly done wrong even when it has nothing to do with me. This is usually when I am really insecure with myself.
I need to learn to express anger correctly and in a healthy way. It doesn’t hurt people’s feelings and it reduces conflict in the long run. I am comfortable expressing sadness. Why is anger so hard for me to express? I feel like I am angry with my mom and dad. Am I? I get mad at myself and I take it out on others. I think I take out my repressed anger out on others. I don’t trust other people’s feelings because I don’t trust or express mine. I always say I am fine when I am not ok.
I feel like I don’t have a right to my feelings. I feel like I was an unhappy child. How do you love someone with the limitations they have? Sometimes people in our lives just can’t give us what we need. We can’t control that.